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Painful Secrets: Depression
Depression is one of society’s most misunderstood and controversial illnesses, and this third article in our series on Image and Self-Esteem delves a little deeper into the issue.
We all get sad sometimes. But when does sadness become depression? And how do we know the difference?
Sadness is a normal response to life’s challenges and, mostly, it just goes away. Our emotional makeup means that it’s normal to feel sad when bad stuff happens in our lives: sickness, relationship break-ups, death of loved-ones, etc.
However, sometimes you can find yourself stuck in that sadness for weeks, unable to shake it off – if that’s the case, you might be depressed. Dr Linda Mintle writes, “Depression affects the body, mood, thoughts and soul. It is more than normal sadness or feeling down. It’s a persistent sadness that permeates most aspects of your life – sleeping, eating, working, communicating with God, socialising and enjoying life.”
Depression is serious and debilitating, and not something you just snap out of. And it’s not just “all in your head.”
Chris
Chris is 18 and lives in Wellington. His mother recently died of cancer, one week after her 50th birthday party. Chris was hit real hard; he felt sad and very alone, and as months passed, he couldn’t shake his sadness. He withdrew from relationships with friends and family, and people began worrying – the once outgoing Chris looked tired, pale and thin.
Sarah
Sarah is 20 and is at university in Dunedin. Two months ago she broke up with her long-time boyfriend, who she thought God had told her was “the one”. She can’t get out of bed in the morning. She’s lost heaps of weight, and can’t concentrate on any study. The smallest things seem to irritate or upset her: “The other day, my flatmate came into my room to ask me why I hadn’t cooked dinner and I just burst into tears. I can’t control my emotions. All I want to do is run away and hide…or even drive myself off a cliff.”
What is depression?
Depression is a mood disorder that affects up to 1 in 5 people in New Zealand at some point in their lives and it’s estimated that 8 percent of teenagers get it. It’s a persistent feeling of sadness and despair, which can lead to a sense of hopelessness and emptiness.
At some stage, we’re all going to face relationship issues, changes in our circumstances and broken ideals or expectations. These losses can trigger negative thinking, bringing on a depressed mood, which affects your perception of the world, and feeds your negative thinking. This cycle keeps depression alive. It’s based on the lies that many of us can believe: “My life is hopeless,” “Nobody likes me,” “I’ll never be able to change.” The goal in dealing with depression is to break the lies associated with this negativity, so we can be free.
What causes depression?
Sometimes the causes of depression are easily identified. At other times, it can spring up out of nowhere. Stress, heredity and genetics all play a role and can make some people more susceptible. Some common triggers are:
- Loss – of relationship, job, circumstance, dreams and ideals.
- Significant life-changing moments – parents breaking up, car accidents, death of a loved-one.
- Physical changes in the body – stroke, heart attack, cancer, diabetes, hormonal disorders.
- Terminal health conditions.
- Stress.
- Diet.
- Alcohol and drug addiction.
What are the risks?
Being depressed can cause people to withdraw from activities as well as eat a lot more or less than usual. They may find themselves struggling to sleep normally; either they can’t go to sleep or they’ll wake up a lot, often early in the morning, and can’t get back to sleep. Their self-esteem may be lower and they may experience heightened anxiety and irritability. People may plunge into feelings of hopelessness, dejection and guilt.
Remember that there is nothing stable in human affairs; therefore avoid undue elation in prosperity or undue depression in adversity. Socrates.
What’s more, doctors recognise that mental states and physical well-being are intimately connected – an unhealthy body can lead to an unhealthy mind, and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. People with afflictions such as cancer, diabetes, epilepsy and osteoporosis all appear to run a higher risk of disability or premature death when they are clinically depressed.
The ‘S’ word.
Suicide is a huge issue and a significant risk with depression – New Zealand has the second highest rate of suicide for males and fourth highest for females among selected OECD countries (*NZHIS).
In the next issue of the SP Mag, we’re gonna take a closer look at suicide. But, if you or someone you know, has talked about suicide, or has got suicidal feelings, please, please go and talk to someone today! Not tomorrow, not next week…today! With help, suicide is preventable. The devil’s purpose is to steal, kill and destroy. But there is hope. God is mighty and can heal even the most hope-‘less’ situation, but it involves you taking a step of faith and talking to someone about it today.
So what about antidepressants?
Researchers are unclear whether depression causes or is the result of brain chemistry changes, but brain chemistry does change. That’s why antidepressant medications improve mood. There is so much controversy in the church about the use of antidepressants, so here are a few important things to note.
When you get depressed, there are 60 or so chemicals known as neurotransmitters, which signal one cell that it should pass along the message. Scientists are trying to determine just how these neurotransmitters interact with mood. What we do know is, antidepressants often improve your mood because they work on these brain chemicals.
“One reason antidepressants are so controversial is that people don’t understand them,” says Dr Linda Mintle. “They are not addictive like other classes of drugs. The purpose for taking an antidepressant is to correct your brain chemistry, which then stabilizes your mood…When someone is depressed, neurotransmitters in the brain can become depleted, and these medications restore these neurotransmitters to the proper levels.”
The danger comes when you treat depression by medicating yourself and not working on the underlying or surrounding issues – you’re only managing symptoms. Symptom management is appropriate when you’re severely clinically depressed, suicidal and not responding to therapy. Antidepressants are simply agents used to get you functioning again and to restore proper chemical balance to the brain. They’re not magical cures that allow you to ignore the root causes of clinical depression.
Help ME: I can’t get out of this!
Depression is fought mostly in the mind. When you’re depressed, your thinking is negative and lacks hope. Your hope needs to be renewed with God’s truth and the removal of any lies that dominate your thinking.
If you know you’re depressed, or you know a friend or family member who is depressed, then please consider the following:
Acknowledge it
The first step to seeking help is to admit you need it. If you are struggling with sadness and/or overwhelming grief for more than two weeks, then it’s possible that you have a form of depression. Seek help!
Go and talk to someone
The worst thing you can do is isolate yourself. Find yourself a Christian counsellor who you trust. “Talk therapy” is when issues are discussed, goals set, thoughts are examined, and behaviour change is targeted. It helps you to identify the root causes of your depression and start to make change. (If you need help finding a counsellor in your town, please contact Soul Purpose and we’ll put you in touch with one.) Talking to family and friends can help. Having people who’ll pray with you, encourage and remind you of how precious you are in God’s sight is so important. Stay connected!
Learn to know yourself
What sets off your bad feelings? Is it something someone said or did? Was it a problem or situation? Learn to identify what triggers your feelings of depression and write them down. Think about behavioural changes you could actively make to avoid those situations. The more you can identify what sets off negative thoughts, the more you can take control of your own thoughts and feelings.
Be realistic
God does not promise that life will be issue-free. Loss and disappointment happen. You can’t control circumstances and often, you can’t control the consequences. However, you can develop more realistic expectations. Friends will let you down, bad things will happen, but we know that God promises to walk through all these valleys with us.
Choose your friends wisely
If you’re depressed, hanging with negative people will not improve your mood. And well-meaning people who offer ‘helpful advice’ in times of hurt and pain can sometimes make things worse for you. Think and pray carefully about those you’re gonna share your life with and connect with those people deeply.
Don’t feel bad about medication
If medication is helping you, don’t listen to the uninformed opinions of others. Seek wise counsel, pray, and ask God to direct your healing. If prescribed medication is part of that process, you should certainly use it.
Set boundaries
A common problem associated with depression is passivity. When you allow others to walk all over you, you can feel helpless and can harbour anger and bitterness. Learning to say no to people and situations is the first step to taking charge of your life where and when you can.
Manage your emotions – don’t let them be your manager
We all experience sadness and anger. The goal is to know how to manage these emotions so they don’t get stuck as regular feelings. Remember, when you get stuck in depression, it’s usually because of some lie that was implanted at the time of hurt or wounding.
Relationships make the world go round
Most often, depression is rooted in relationship problems. Restoration and reconciliation is God’s plan in all relationship breakdowns. Forgiving those who have hurt you can be the most humbling yet releasing step to take in the process.
Trust God
People are gonna let you down, act unjustly, hurt and damage you. But God never will. Get to know Him. He cares intimately about your life. If you want to know just exactly how much He loves you, try reading Psalm 139. There is so much truth and hope that can be found as you study His word.
God doesn’t want you to be depressed. He wants you free and experiencing His joy. Joy is not something we can muster up by reading a whole lot of self-help books or watching Tony Robbins videos. Joy comes from the Lord. It’s a fruit of the Spirit. Trials will come but they are not there to squash our joy – rather God’s joy is there to help see us through it. The bible has many examples of people who suffered depression and despair. Read Psalms or Job and you’ll see how honest and open they were about their struggles.
Life doesn’t make sense at the best of times. As I write this article, I’m sitting next to my mum’s hospital bed as she fights a terminal illness. I can’t describe my feelings of utter confusion and sadness as I watch and pray for her. But I know God loves us and desperately wants to care for us during these times in our lives. Depression is serious. It’s hard to explain, it’s debilitating and most people are reluctant to talk about it. But you can overcome with it lots of prayer, support and time.
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4: 16-18)
IMPORTANT!
Please note: this article is not intended to provide therapy, counselling, clinical advice or treatment. Our goal is to make you more aware of depression, and how, as Christians, we need to respond.
If you or someone you know is suffering from a mental illness, we strongly advise you to consult your own qualified medical doctor immediately.
Hamish S
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